A Trip to the Therapist
by CronoCat
Summary: Keisuke decides that Miaka's friends from the book world, all need a little therapy. So he takes the whole gang to the therapist. Tasuki is the main reason for this being PG13...he's such a loudmouth! Please review!
1. Default Chapter

A Trip to The Therapist

As the morning sun peeked over the horizon, all was quiet in the Yuuki household. But not for long...Suddenly Keisuke wandered into the living room, where his younger sister, Miaka stood, staring off into the distance. 

"Morning, Sis," Keisuke said. 

"Mm, morning," Miaka replied absently. 

"Miaka, your "book friends" really aren't fitting into this world. Had you noticed that?"

"Tamahome..." Miaka sighed. 

"Nooo...that's a lamp with Tamahome's shirt on it..." Keisuke told his sister, as she threw her arms around the lamp. "Tamahome went shopping for some cooler clothes like he had in Ancient China."

Miaka came out of her trance, "Oh...that's because you were making him wear plaid pants."

"I LIKE THOSE PANTS!!" Keisuke protested loudly. 

"Exactly..." Miaka muttered. 

Just then, Tasuki burst into the room, screaming, "That damn whatchmacallit keeps ringing!"

"Huh?" Miaka asked. 

Tasuki gestured impatiently, "You know...the dumb ringy dingy thing!"

"The phone?!" Miaka and Keisuke questioned. 

Tasuki threw his arms in the air, "Well, whatever you call it, MAKE IT STOP!!"

Keisuke sighed, "Your supposed to pick it up and say hello..."

Tasuki stared at him in disbelief. "So now I have to talk to the damn thing? WE'RE NOT ON SPEAKING TERMS!" He yelled, storming out of the room. 

Keisuke groaned and turned to Miaka, but before he could say anything, a voice was heard down the hall. 

"MIAKAAAAA!" Screeched Nuriko. 

"WHAT?!" Miaka cried. 

"Does this look okay?" Nuriko asked, parading around in Miaka's school uniform. 

"What are you _doing_?" Miaka asked in amazement. 

"You _said_ I could!" Nuriko pointed out. 

"See? These people are not doing so well! We're going on a trip! Car! Now!" Keisuke broke in. 

Hotohori strolled in, brushing his long hair. "98...99...100. As long as we're going somewhere, I command you stop at the hair salon. I have a split end!" -_-'

"....." Keisuke opened his mouth and then helplessly shut it again. 

1 HOUR LATER

*At the Therapist*

"Welcome...my, my, what a large group! Sit down...sit down. Now then, let's go around and say our names and why we're here today," the therapist said, ushering everyone into the room. 

"Yo. I'm Tetsuya and I'm here, because these losers can't drive! But I can!" He grinned smugly at the group. 

"I'm Yui. They all dragged me along," Yui said, almost apologetically. 

"I am Emperor Hotohori of Konan Country. I _thought_ I was going to get a hair cut, but I apparently was deceived by my friends."

Keisuke coughed nervously, "Heh, heh...Well, I'm Keisuke. My sister's friends desperately needed to meet you."

"Don't mess with me, Mr. Therapist! I am the wonderful, handsome, brave, strong, smart, all might Tasuki! And I don't need no DAMN ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASSES!" Tasuki yelled, as he lay, chuckling insanely, on that little couch that therapists always have. 

"I'm Chichiri, no daaaaaaaaa!"

Next to Chichiri, Chiriko sat reading a book. He didn't even look up. 

"Hi! My name's Nuriko! I love candle-lit dinners and long walks on the beach! And you look like _you _do too!" Nuriko announced, flirtatiously. 

The therapist blushed, "Well, yes...ahem! Let's move on! Next?"

"Miaka..." Tamahome said. 

"Tamahome..." Miaka replied dreamily. 

"Uh...okaaaay...Next?" The therapist said, writing quickly on his notepad. 

"I'm Mitsukake...a doctor. I'm perfectly normal, really. Except, my old girlfriend came back as zombie and tried to kill me."

The therapist just stared and at him and then quickly announced, "Now we'll hear from the Seiryuu side!" Then he added, in a fake, cheery voice, "Isn't this _fun_?!"

"Hello! My name's Tomo, and I too like long walks on the beach and candle-lit dinners. In fact, I collect shells...kakaka!" He laughed. 

"Err...riight..." the therapist said uncomfortably. 

"Don't mind him..." Soi broke in reassuringly, "He's just trying to get my Nakkie-Poo!" She clings tightly to his arm. 

"Let's move on...next?" The therapist says, turning to Nakago. 

"I am Nakago, the greatest Seishi to ever live! Back off, Soi!" Nakago tried to shake her lose. 

"Grrr...growl...hack! hack!" Coughed a large wolf, as he coughed up a hairball. 

"His name is Ashitare and I'm Miboshi...hmm...your mind wanders too much. That could be dangerous!" Miboshi explained. 

"I'll trust you on that one. Next...okay, this should be interesting. Who's who?" The therapist asked, looking at the twins. 

"I'm Suboshi," Amiboshi announced. 

"And I'm Amiboshi," Suboshi said, grinning away. 

"LIARS! Wait, where was I? Oh yeah, TAMAHOME!" Miaka screeched as everyone cringed. 

"Okay, so I'm Suboshi!" He admitted, staring at Yui. 

"Back off, 'jr. pervert'!" Shouted Tetsuya. 

"Who are you calling 'jr. pervert'?! That's MY girlfriend!" Suboshi shouted back. 

"Your girlfriend? I'll show you!" Tetsuya yelled, jumping up. 

Quickly, the therapist grabbed Tetsuya and restrained him. "Okay, okay. Settle down. Let's talk about what you're feeling. What's causing this anger?"

"YUI'S MINE!" Tetsuya and Suboshi cried in unison. 

"...Okay, then. And does this make you feel, Yui?" The therapist questioned.

Yui smiled, "I don't mind. I thought this was all about Miaka, but it's not."

"YES IT IS!" Miaka yelled indignantly. 

"No, it's not! Shut up, you always get more attention!" Yui retorted. 

"I sense deep, deep anger..." the therapist announced calmly. 

"No shit. Ever seen a catfight?!" Tasuki asked, excitedly. 

"Woohoo! Go Miaka!" Cheered Tamahome. 

"That's my girl!" Hotohori said proudly. 

"WHAT?!" Demanded Tamahome. 

"MINE!" Hotohori screamed possessively. 

"You wanna go?" Tamahome asked, standing up. 

"Hmm...Yes, but I wouldn't want to hurt you..." Hotohori said, checking his reflection in a compact mirror. 

"That's it! BRING IT ON! C'MON PUNK!" Tamahome screamed in outrage. 

"He just called the emperor a punk..." Keisuke said. 

"Thank you, Captain Obvious," Tetsuya said sarcastically. 

"Hey! I'm _trying_ to help these people!"

"Humph, yeah, well, why do I have to be here? Why are you wasting my time, when I could be on a date with Yui?!" Tetsuya asked furiously. 

"I thought you wanted to help me..." Keisuke said sadly. 

"I was...but my girlfriend is beating your sister up, so not anymore!"

"WHAT?! C'mon Miaka!" Keisuke cried. 

"That does it...let's go, Mr. Plaid Pants!"

Insulted, Keisuke flung himself at Tetsuya, yelling, "I LIKE THOSE PANTS!!!"

*MEANWHILE*

"Stop it!" The therapist said nervously. 

"Stop what?" Miboshi asked innocently and continued to stare at the therapist. 

"Why are you staring at me?"

"I'm trying to take over your mind..." Miboshi explained. 

"Heh, heh, you're joking right? Ha, ha! Funny...?" 

"Shut up, stupid man...I'm gaining control..." Miboshi cried triumphantly. 

***

From the corner, Tomo created an illusion of Ashitare's leg stuck in a trap. Ashitare whimpered and began to gnaw his leg off. 

"KAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAAAA!!!!" Tomo laughed. 

***

"Wow! What a stud!" Nuriko sighed, staring starry-eyed at Hotohori who was pummeling Tamahome. 

"Hehe, betcha I could burn Tamahome from here!" Tasuki grinned. 

"Go for it..." Nuriko said, staring dreamily at the Emperor. 

"LEKKA SHINEN!" Tasuki yelled, swinging his tesson. Tamahome fell over backwards and jumped up all singed. 

"OW! WATCH IT, OK?!"

"I MEANT to do that!" Tasuki replied, laughing. Tamahome suddenly charged full speed at Tasuki. Leaving the two friends fighting, Nuriko hurried over to Hotohori. 

"Wow! Hotohori, you are so wonderful! So handsome, so strong, so brave, so beautiful!" Nuriko gushed, clinging to his arm. 

"I know..." Hotohori modestly replied, smoothing his hair. 

"Well, this is exciting, but dangerous, no da," Sighed Chichiri. "I'd better hide out for a while, na no da," he added, disappearing into his kasa. 

***

"Tch, they're idiots," Nakago sighed, waving his hand dismissively at the assembled group. 

"Of course. But you're not. You're the epitome of genius-ness," Soi said, respectfully. 

"I know..." Nakago informed her. 

***

Amiboshi suddenly began to softly play the flute from where he sat in the corner. 

"102...103..." Suboshi counted, standing next to his brother as he played with his yo-yos of doom. "Hey, look! I can 'walk the dog'!"

"That's nice, Suboshi," Amiboshi answered, bored and continued playing.

"Hey, what I do is cool! At least _I _do what I do right!"

"What are you suggesting?" Amiboshi asked shortly. 

"Everyone _knows_ you don't play the flute with the end pointing left! It's just stupid!" Suboshi informed his twin. 

"So what! I play however I want!"

"Nya, nya! Aniki can't play flute!" Suboshi chanted. 

***

"This is entirely too much excitement for me..." Mitsukake said. 

From his shoulder, Tama agreed, "Meow..."

"I can't even read! Let's go..." Chiriko announced, shutting his book. 

"Catch you guys later! We're going outside..." Mitsukake informed everyone, turning to leave. 

Suddenly, Miaka stopped fighting. "Are you going to get _food_?"

"Sure!" Chiriko smiled. 

"I'm _soooo_ hungry!" Miaka whined. 

"Okay, you can come too," Mitsukake offered. Together, the three left the room. 

Tamahome looked up from where he was beating Tasuki with the tesson, "Miaka? Miakaaaaa! WAIT!" 

Tasuki dusted himself off and jumped up, "COME BACK WITH MY TESSON, TAMAHOME!!!!!!!!" 

"Miaka is leaving? I'm coming!" Hotohori called. 

"Let's go, Hotohori-sama," Nuriko said, possessively clinging to his arm. 

"DAAAAAA!!" Cried Chichiri popping out his kasa, "Here I come, no da!"

"Hey, where'd Miaka go? And everybody?" Asked Keisuke, shoving Tetsuya away. 

"Huh? I think they left..." Tetsuya replied. 

"Wait up, sis!" Keisuke yelled, running from the room. 

"Hmph, some friend! C'mon Yui," grumbled Tetsuya. 

"Coming!" Yui cried, throwing her arms around Tetsuya. 

***

"Perhaps we should leave..." Tomo suggested. 

"Shut up, I call the shots," Nakago told him.

"I just love a strong willed guy!" Sighed Tomo. 

"Okay, now we can go," Nakago announced. 

"Does your chi need a boost, Nakkie-Poo?" Soi inquired. 

Nakago looked at her and said shortly, "Later."

***

As his friends left, Tomo walked over to the therapist, "Y'kno, I still like long walks on the beach, Mr. Therapist."

"I'm not the therapist anymore. I am Miboshi!" Miboshi in the therapist's body cried. 

"AAAAAAAHHH!!" Tomo screeched, running from the room. 

"Fresh mind! Bwhahahahaha!" Laughed Miboshi, chasing Tomo. 

***

"Come on, time to blow this joint," Suboshi told his brother. 

Amiboshi put away his flute, "what about Ashitare?"

The twins stared at him for a long time. Then Suboshi turned to Amiboshi, "You know what? I'm not really a dog person..."

Amiboshi looked at Ashitare, who was still gnawing on his leg. "Me neither," he announced. 

"Bye Ashitare!" They called cheerily, leaving and slamming the door. 

***

And so the sun sets on another peaceful day in Tokyo.

*THE END*


	2. Disclaimer

Disclaimer: Hey guess what! We don't own Fushigi Yuugi! Who'da thunk it? Well, anyway, FY is owned by whoever owns it. Simple enough? good. enjoy! Oh and one more thing...this story was written by Dr. Lauryl AND CronoCat at about 2 in the morning which should explain **_everything_**. 


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